50 Reasons to hate Alluka
by Hermes Salazar Snape
Summary: A rare glimpse into Illumi's mind as he lists down exactly why he loathes Alluka so much.


**Author's Note:**

This has been narrated from what I imagined to be Illumi's POV.

I have tried not to make it too OOC, but there may be clashes of opinion.  
>And my story won the 3000 Likes Celebration - Alluka Tribute Contest hosted by hunterxdanger?ref=hl<p>

**50 REASONS I HATE ALLUKA**

"Milluki, remind me why I agreed to this ridiculous idea."

"Because Illu-nii," he replied with that smug, crazy grin that irritates me. "Father asked you to. He wouldn't let you out on assignments otherwise."

"Get out then. Let me do it."

"All right, don't yell at me! Oh and Grandpa said it has to be genuine otherwise it doesn't count."

"Are you behind this Milluki?"

"I … er, I don't know what you are talking about…"

"Got this idea, from maybe, the internet?"

"…"

"Well?"

"I need to go. Order a set of new glass figurines. See you later!"

And the list begins...

1. He hosts Nanika

2. And won't let me or the family use it.

3. He had killed a lot of people without_ knowing_ about it! By accident!

4. Killing is an art. You are supposed to do it slowly, feel the victim walk into the trap you have laid out for him, get ensnared into it, realize there is no way out, make him sweat, make him terrified, savour your victory and then, you put him out of his misery. Or you do it fast, one neat stroke before he even blinks. Or you do it in stages, cut off each part and linger in the shadows, make him look for you, try to give him hope only to smash it again at the next stroke and kill him after making him beg for it. Not like this, _accidentally_! It is an insult to the family profession to say you have killed someone by accident!

5. He has the potential to kill anybody, anywhere, without even lifting a finger! Without the rigorous training, the poison tasting sessions, the electric chair, the practise combat rounds, the pain threshold measurement... It feels like he is cheating.

6. I am envious too. If only I had all that power, I would have been heir to the family.

7. He makes me break so many family rules…

8. And he is why I can sometimes not control my emotions.

9. I want him within my clutches, I want to be the one who holds all that _power_, I want him and his Nen so badly, I can't think of anything else.

10. He is using all that powerful Nen right now, to fulfil Kil's silly wishes. What an utter waste!

11. He made me do this ridiculous task.

12. He was the reason I couldn't leave the Mansion whenever I please, as somebody has to be there to take care of him. Or more like watch him for suspicious behaviour.

13. I had spent days, months, studying his methods and I still know less that Kil. Of course I'm proud of my little brother for knowing so much, but it is such a disadvantage now…

14. He is our family's greatest shame. And failure.

15. He is the reason the Zoldycks had to issue a public apology for killing so many people. How humiliating! My family has never, never been reduced to such indignities!

16. He is a monster. A parasite. He is not from my family. And yet he stayed as if he was one of my own siblings. He even had the gall to call me Oni-chan. Once. I made sure that he would never refer to me as such again.

17. He tempted Milluki into wishing for that technology. He must have known Milluki was greedy and deliberately got him into trouble with Father. Mil still flinches when Father glares at him. And it is hilarious to watch.

18. He was not killed. He should have been. I would have killed him without a thought. But I was afraid of hurting Kil.

19. He is why Kil is distracted from the family profession. He is learning to enjoy something other than assassinating the assigned targets. Maybe, he was also why he never grew to enjoy it, like I do.

20. He also insisted on Kil playing with him every time he was free. But I never got to play with Kil, even though I waited numerous times for him to come to me.

21. It is because of him that Kil never asked me to lift him up again. Because, he had to play big brother to _him_.

22. He made Kil leave the family. Again.

23. He is the reason I had to ask _Hisoka_ of all the bloody people for help! It is always the other way around! Zoldycks _never_ depend on the help of somebody else!

24. And I had to grit my teeth at all his _games_ and stay on constant alert lest he tries to kill me when I had loosened up…

25. And always stay one step ahead of the 'team', even though we were 'partners'. To think I paid him that much…

26. We had to con Tsubone so that we can keep an eye on them. She is an exceptional butler, I hated tricking her. She had watched my back so many times when I was younger. It was not right to use her loyalty that way. But there was no one better equipped to track them down quickly.

27. He is the reason why Gotoh was killed, which was a pity really. I loved the way Gotoh kept everyone out of the Mansion. Except Kil's_ friends_. But Gon Freecs was one determined brat, I'll give him that.

28. He is why we had to employ a _Kirian_! So that Kil doesn't know about Gotoh's death. He'd be devastated.

29. Ah, yes, this gives me another point. He is the cause of Kil being so… _emotional_! I kept telling Father and Mother that we shouldn't let Kil play with him so much. They listened. But too late apparently.

30. He is pretending to be a girl, that creep! It is like he knows Mother always wanted a girl and is playing to her sentimental nature.

31. Mother spent so much money on him for those dolls. It's not like we don't have the money, but still, he doesn't deserve it.

32. She tries to even visit him occasionally, despite Father's warnings.

33. Mother always, always is thinking about him. She never admits it, but it doesn't take a genius to figure that out.

34. She was ecstatic when we saw Kil playing with her through the camera. There was nothing great about it, but she gushed on and on about it. Made me nauseous.

35. I have never seen Father so worried as that time when his powers were revealed.

36. We had to assign an entire wing in the Mansion to house him.

37. He made my perfect family unstable with his freakishness.

38. He is the reason I fear to reveal my true potential to Father and Grandpa Zeno. I may be locked up too.

39. He brought that bloody brat Gon back to life again! With a new arm and all! And here I was thinking there was one less _friend_ of Kil's in the world.

40. He is resistant to my needles. Pity.

41. I know that whenever Kalluto spaces out, he is thinking of Alluka. Which is very often.

42. He used to cry whenever I entered the room he was in. That was an understatement. He used to wail like he was on fire. Of course it was before we knew about Nanika.

43. The one time I held him when he was a baby, he puked and pooped over me. Argh.

44. Sometimes I wish I could murder Kil instead. My little brother Kil, the hope for our family. It is all because of that monster!

45. I want Kil to look at me the way he looks at him, like I am his whole world and he would never need anything else.

46. He is the only one in the family who has seen Kil smile.

47. He is the only one who can cheer up Kil and make him laugh.

48. He is the only one in the family that Kil loves. Kil would even _die_ fo him!

49. Kil even _carries_ him!

50. He is the reason why Kil will never come back to the family again.


End file.
